Face, Politeness and Power

This topic on face, politeness and power has probably got to be the most useful of all lectures thus far for this module. Coming from a person whose future career path (in real estate) is dependent more on human interaction than on the work skills itself, learning about Leech's politeness maxims and Brown and Levinson's politeness and face studies would allow me to have a better understanding on how to deal with others.

Let me site an example...

When I was in primary school, my mother had a very bad habit of comparing my school results with that of my cousin of the same age. So during primary 4, which was the year where students were streamed to either EM1 (which was the best stream whatever 'EM' stands for), EM2 or EM3; my cousin (at 10 years old) casually made this statement to my mom:

"You should take heart if Yi Ling gets into EM2... Its not bad already."

Upon hearing that, my mom was super insulted and kept insisting that my cousin is leashing an insult upon me. At 10 years old as well, I got mad without actually comprehending whatever the insult or sarcasm was.

Over the years (and getting into EM1 HAH!), that little ponder bubble is still stuck in my head. What exactly is the insult? I've never really been very good with my studies, so it seems only appropriate that my cousin is comforting my mom about my possible failure.

With this module did I realise that Ohhh.. It was the probably the approbation maxim that my cousin was using. She was attempting to let my mother in on some unpleasant news - the possibility of me not making it into EM1; so she adopted a softer approach which my mother took it to be an insult.

Thank goodness for it though... Beats hearing her say: "there is no way she can make it to EM1 lah!" which could have busted my confidence.

On a side note, how odd that the approbation maxim should come about. Seriously, nobody is heeding the rule of if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything. While the theory may be in place, there is much room for interpretation. My mother got the underlying meaning and took it as an insult. Likewise for the example highlighted in the lecture notes:

"I heard you singing at the karaoke last night. It was, um... different."

How can nice be different? Nice is nice. Different is a different way of saying not nice... and everyone knows that. So instead of saying it was different, why wouldn't people just say:

"I was at the karaoke last night but damn I didn't hear you sing because I had a stomachache and went to the toilet. I heard it was not bad though! (:"

See? The world would be a nicer place.